If you have ever walked into a therapy space and felt like the unspoken goal was to make you seem more normal, you are not alone. Many neurodivergent adults seek out support only to find that their lived experience is misunderstood, minimized, or treated like a set of problems to fix. But your brain is not broken. You are not too much. And therapy should not ask you to become someone you are not.
Neurodivergence is not a new concept, but the conversation around it is evolving. Whether you identify as autistic, have ADHD, live with sensory processing differences, or relate to other forms of neurodivergence, your way of being in the world is valid.
The term neurodivergent was first introduced by sociologist Judy Singer to describe brains that diverge from so called typical neurological development. What that actually means, in real life, is that your brain might process, organize, or respond to things differently than the majority. But different is not defective.
Unfortunately, a lot of mental health systems still treat neurodivergent traits as symptoms that need to be minimized. You may have felt pressure to mask your stimming. To make constant eye contact. To sit still. To communicate in ways that feel unnatural just to be taken seriously.
In a 2022 report from the National Institutes of Health, 85 percent of autistic adults said they experience high stress from masking their traits in public or professional spaces. Many adults with ADHD also report anxiety, shame, and exhaustion from years of being misunderstood.
Here is the thing. Masking might help you get through a meeting or a classroom or a family gathering. But over time, it can erode your sense of self. And therapy should be the place where you can unmask without fear.
Support that honors your neurodivergence does not try to make you look more neurotypical. It helps you tune into your nervous system. It helps you unlearn shame. It helps you create strategies that fit your brain, not someone else’s idea of what is functional.
That might mean pacing during sessions. Or using visuals to process emotions. Or scripting responses in advance. Maybe you need more silence. Maybe you want more structure. There is no wrong way to be here.
An affirming therapist does not just accommodate your needs. They respect your way of being. They know that sensory overload is real. That executive dysfunction is not laziness. That direct communication, or parallel play, or repetition is not a problem to fix.
You should never have to earn your therapist’s patience or approval by shrinking yourself.
Therapy can help you explore what regulation actually looks like for your body. It can help you rewrite stories that were handed to you by schools, workplaces, and even past therapists. You deserve a space where your strengths are seen, your needs are honored, and your presence is enough.
In the words of autistic writer Devon Price, “You do not need to be fixed. You need to be understood.”
So if therapy has ever felt like a place where you had to pretend or perform, know that it does not have to be that way. You are not too much. You are not hard to work with. You are not broken.
You are already whole. And you deserve care that sees the full picture.
Looking for therapy that affirms neurodivergence instead of pathologizing it? You deserve support that makes space for all of you—not just the parts that make others comfortable.