Some of us have probably wondered how some people can endure challenging or traumatic life situations and appear unaffected, while the same situation nearly destroys others. What makes some people capable of enduring more hardship than others? Many would say that people who seem unaffected by life’s obstacles and trauma are resilient. But what exactly is resiliency and how does resiliency enable people to better cope with trauma? How does one become more resilient?
Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations and the ability to adapt to challenging situations without giving up or losing hope for the future (Meyers, 2018). Looking at nature, resiliency can be explained looking at a dandelion. While some plants need a lot of care and can only grow in the most ideal living situations, the dandelion can strive nearly anywhere. It grows in cracks of concrete, strives with hardly any water or nourishing ground and is able to adapt to nearly all climates (Fisher, 2016).
Resiliency used to be thought of as a genetic trait that some people are born with. However, studies show that while there is a genetic factor in resiliency, it is also a trait which can be developed and enhanced through hard work and dedication (Meyers, 2016). In order to learn resiliency skills, it is essential to understand how resiliency helps us. It is the basic tool and coping skill that aids us to overcome difficult situations and gives us the flexibility to adapt to challenges (Meyers, 2016).
Resiliency can be developed by taking small steps to overcome personal challenges and gradually taking larger steps over time. For example: If one suffers from social anxiety, he or she can start building resiliency by gradually increasing the number of people he or she is around. After he or she becomes somewhat comfortable around other people, then the next step is initiating verbal contact. At first, he or she can practice saying hello to someone they pass outside. This can be increased by wishing the cashier at a store a great day, or starting a small dialogue about the weather. Slowly, conversations can be initiated with more people and conversations can start turning more meaningful. The key to building resiliency is to continue the desired action, even if the outcome isn’t always a positive one. Some core principles to building resiliency are connection, wellness, healthy thinking and meaning (Building your resilience, 2020). Wellness involves taking care of your body, getting plenty of rest and sleep, a healthy diet, and self-care. Avoid negative outlets like the use of addictive substances and practice mindfulness. Start building on relationships to create a support system and form connections with others to find a sense of belonging. Practice self-acceptance and foster a positive mindset with a positive outlook for your life and embrace healthy thoughts in your journey of self-discovery (Building your resilience, 2020).
Building resiliency skills can seem quite overwhelming and it takes commitment and dedication. It isn’t a quick fix but rather a road to a stronger happier self. Seeking therapy is the first step in working on resiliency. A counselor can help guide you in developing and embracing these empowering skills with the use of different evidence-based counseling techniques like mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
References
Building your resilience. (2020, February 1). https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/building-your-resilience.
Fisher, Cheryl. 13 June 2016. The Counseling Connoisseur: Dandelion strong: Lessons from a weed. Counseling Today. Retrieved 13 March 2024. https://ct.counseling.org/2016/06/counseling-connoisseur-dandelion-strong-lessons-weed/.
Meyers, Laurie. 26 December 2018. Building client and counselor resilience. Counseling Today. Retrieved 13March 2024. https://ct.counseling.org/2018/12/building-client-and-counselor-resilience/#.